34. Who Do You Hang With?

I want to be around people that do things. 

I don’t want to be around people anymore that judge 

or talk about what people do. 

I want to be around people that dream 

and support and do things.

― Amy Poehler

Let's be honest- trumpet players have a reputation. (Undeserved, I think. Well, maybe.... Okay, it's complicated.) The old joke:

How does one trumpet player greet another trumpet player?
Hi. I'm better than you.

The implication is very clear. Trumpet players think highly of themselves and believe that any other trumpet player they meet is obviously inferior to them. We might make an exception if we are meeting the first chair of the Chicago Symphony, Doc Severinsen, or the faculty at Shell Lake Trumpet Camp. That's our reputation- and at times- our attitude. I could go into some detail on that, but I will leave that to another week.

The problem with having that attitude is, as you might guess, that we always think we are surrounded by inferior musicians. If we are, each of us, the best around us, that means we have nothing to learn, nowhere to grow, and can become pretty damn obnoxious to be around.

Yes, there are players like that, and they aren't all trumpet players. But overall, my experience has often been that we are often more willing to be in a learning position as in a superior position. Learning takes humility which can be defined as "a willingness to learn." That does not mean that we take an inferior position any more than it means taking a superior position. It means that we enter into each other's musical presence with openness to what we have to learn- as well as share.

One of the quotable lines from Trumpet Camp last summer brought all this to mind:

Surround yourself with people who are better than you are.

I realized that this statement is as much about attitude as it is about musical ability. If you are the first chair in the top group at your school or in your community, chances are that you are a pretty good musician. It may very well be that overall you might be better than the other people in your section. But the attitude that could come with that can be downright destructive to the group making good music.

And it could get in the way of you discovering new ways of making music yourself.

If any of us project the kind of attitude that says "I'm the best!" the others will wonder what good they are to the group. If that obnoxious first chair looms over the proceedings like the great judge of the universe- I for example will hold back, play more timidly, see my part as a "small" part. Many of us have heard the comeback to that- there are no small parts, only small players. A "superior" musician among us, though, can make us feel "small." The section will never produce good music if that is the case.

In reality, thankfully, these type of trumpet players are few and far between. Oh, admittedly it might not seem that way at first when you hear them play or watch them in action. It is intimidating to many of us to play in a section, especially next to, one of these top quality players.  But once we get to know them, my experience has almost always been one of openness to assist me in growing. It's not about the other trumpet player's attitude- it's about mine! With that attitude on our part we can discover that this otherwise superior musician is weak in a certain area. They minimize the things they are not as proficient at and maximize the things they are good at.

That I can learn from!

When the better player is open to sharing and accepting a role as a leader, which they often are(!), the whole section gets better. I appreciate the section leader who suggests I take a lead that will push me. It says the leader believes I can do it. I will work harder in the group when the section leader gives us all the "Thumbs Up!" after the concert and says we did well because any of us could have played the lead- and played our parts appropriately.

For those who are at least arguably the best player in their section, to take that to heart as grandiosity will get in the way of your ability as well. You will get easily bored and move on if no one else around you has anything to teach you. You can become a prima donna- a very temperamental person with an inflated view of their own talent or importance.You will become a point of dissension in your group. You, even as good as you are, could very well contribute to your section or group being less musical.

It is interesting that so often across these months of writing this blog I have moved away from technical musical learning. I have often moved to more general ideas that, applied specifically to trumpet playing can have significant impact. One of these, over and over is summed up in "attitude." And attitudes are choices. We can be educated into good or bad attitudes; we can make certain attitudes habits. We all know the perpetual "wet blanket" who never does anything but whine. We also know the cheerleader type who is always up and perky.

These, and all attitudes in-between, will color how we see the world. There's nothing new in saying this. The wisdom is as old as humans who began observing their neighbors' behavior. They then decided they liked being around people with certain behaviors and stayed away from those who others. Or we discover that we may gravitate to those with the same attitude, you know, misery loves company, other people who are as miserable as you are and love to complain about it.

That can be more than just difficult. It can be downright unhealthy and keep us stuck.

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
-Eleanor Roosevelt

One more thought came to mind. What if you are the best player around? What if there is no one you can easily get together with that is better than you? I can think of a couple of options.

• Find a teacher in some nearby community who might be willing to take you on as a student. It might not be able to be done weekly, but set up a schedule
• Gather other musicians who would be willing to "jam" or even become a group and push each other. Don't be the "leader". Be just another group member as you seek to blend in with the whole group. Dream with them, have common visions, don't be satisfied for the "good" which is almost always the enemy of both the "better" and the "best" you can be.
• Find camps, workshops, jam sessions, that you can attend.
• Listen, listen, and then listen more to great recordings. All types of recordings. Watch videos online or on the various media. Find lessons online that may be in an area that you are less proficient. 
• Go back to the first item and do it again.

It's not always convenient or easy, but if we are committed to being quality musicians, no matter the level of our ability (!!!), we will find the ways.

9. All Life is a Privilege

The wise musicians are those who play what they can master

-Duke Ellington

It is so easy to think we are deserving of what we have and what we can get. It is a trap to believe that we are entitled to something, or have worked hard enough to have earned it.

Somewhere in the middle of trumpet camp, director Bob Baca made the comment to us:

• Everything is a privilege. We don't deserve any of it.

We all shook our heads in some kind of understanding. It made some kind of sense. We don't "deserve" it.

So as I started writing this week's post I decided to think more about the word "privilege" and was surprised to be reminded that the word can be very loaded with negative connotations.

Here are three ways to define "privilege." These are from the Merriam-Webster Dictionary and show how it can certainly be a negative idea:

• a right or benefit that is given to some people and not to others
• the advantage that wealthy and powerful people have over other people in a society
• a special opportunity to do something that makes you proud

Using the word "privilege" begins to sound like an entitlement some people expect or get simply because of who they are. It is a special "right" that not every one has and that can easily be used to put others down or elevate ourselves more highly than we ought to.

But that's not where I want to go with this. That's not what was meant when we were told that "Everything is a privilege." In reality, the word privilege when used in this was is actually a humbling word.

Let's look at the last one of the above definitions for our purposes here this week:

• a special opportunity to do something that makes you proud

I would expand that a little by using several examples:

• I have been privileged to have known a number of deeply committed people in my life.
• I have been privileged to be allowed to help other people in my work.
• I have been privileged to be part of an amazing group that helps others.

All these recognize that not everyone may have had the same "privileges" as I have, but these are not mine because of something I am or who I am or even what I have done. I have been given the honor of doing these things.

That humbles me since it is not by my good works or special talents that have allowed me this honor. Many times it may simply be that I was in the right place at the right time.

What does this have to do with my trumpet playing? How could this impact how I play, practice, or interact with others?

For me it starts with the awareness that the opportunities I have to be a musician start out as a privilege. Not everyone has these opportunities nor does everyone want them. I have been fortunate to have the opportunities, the time, (hopefully) the talent to do something wonderful like making music. It does not make me any more special than anyone else. It is simply what I have been given and worked at developing.

The key to that is to then remember that when I face someone who may have different skills or interests than I do. It means accepting the musician who is better than I am- and supporting the one who is not as good as I am. It puts me in the better position of having to prove anything- or disprove anything. I can simply be the player- and person I am.

It also means that I am also being given the privilege from time to time to give others of what I have been given. Through my music in the different groups I play with, I am giving to those listening and to those who play in the group with me, a piece of myself. If I believe that music is as important as I say it is, it is humbling to be able to share in whatever ways possible with others. The opportunities are endless.

But I am also privileged to receive from my co-musicians as we make the music together. It is all a give and take. When I live as if all I have is a privilege, I can make a difference in my own life as well as the lives of others.

Like everything else, and as I always seem to be saying-

that's a lot like life.