22. The Inner Game (part 1)

People ask me how I make music. I tell them I just step into it.

It's like stepping into a river and joining the flow.

Every moment in the river has its song.

― Michael Jackson

I have referred in the past to something called "The Inner Game." It began when W. Timothy Gallwey wrote a book in 1974 called The Inner Game of Tennis. Other books on the same theme followed including The Inner Game of Golf, The Inner Game of Work, and, by Barry Green, The Inner Game of Music. The overview blurb to the tennis book said it is

a revolutionary program for overcoming the self-doubt, nervousness, and lapses of concentration that can keep a player from winning.

The Inner Game Website says

Instead of serving up technique, it concentrated on the fact that, as Gallwey wrote, “Every game is composed of two parts, an outer game and an inner game.” The former is played against opponents, and is filled with lots of contradictory advice; the latter is played not against, but within the mind of the player, and its principal obstacles are self-doubt and anxiety. Gallwey’s revolutionary thinking, built on a foundation of Zen thinking and humanistic psychology, was really a primer on how to get out of your own way to let your best game emerge. It was sports psychology before the two words were pressed against each other and codified into an accepted discipline

Barry Green decided in the mid-1980s to write the first book about the Inner Game that was not about sports. Instead he applied it to music. Gallwey commented in the introduction that with both sports and music we use the word "play" for things that take a lot of discipline. In music as in sports, "overteaching or overcontrol can lead to fear and self doubt." Hence the techniques and philosophy of the Inner Game work equally well.

Green tells us then:

The primary discovery of the Inner Game is that, especially in our culture of achievement-oriented activities, human beings significantly get in their own way. The point of the Inner Game of sports or music is always the same -- to reduce mental interferences that inhibit the full expression of human potential. (Page 7)

We learn in the inner game that there are two "selves" that can be at work in our heads- Self 1 and Self 2. These are not psychological states, personality traits, the conscious and unconscious, right-brain and left-brain, mind and body, or neocortex vs. reptilian brain. They are brain processes that are judged by their impact, the outcome. Simply put by Gallwey and Green:

• If it interferes with your potential, it is Self 1. 
• If it enhances your potential, it is Self 2.

Both Self 1 and Self 2 can access the brain's conscious and unconscious resources, utilize the right- and left-brain styles, or whatever. It's all about the results. (See Green, pp. 16-17)

Gallwey came up with something called The Performance Equation. Green says it this way.

The basic truth is that our performance of any task depends as much on the extent to which we interfere with our abilities as it does on those abilities themselves. This can be expressed as a formula:

P = p - i

In this equation P refers to Performance, which we define as the result you achieve - what you actually wind up feeling, achieving and learning, Similarly, p stands for potential, defined as your innate ability -- what you are naturally capable of. And i means interference - you capacity to get in you own way.

Most people try to improve their performance (P) by increasing their potential (p) through practicing and learning new skills.

The Inner Game approach, on the other hand, is to reduce interference (i) at the same time that potential (p) is being trained -- and the result is that our actual performance comes closer to our true potential. (Green, pp. 23 - 24)

He then applies Self 1 and Self 2 to the equation:

• Self 1 is our interference. It contains our concept about how things should be, our judgements and associations. It is particularly fond of the words 'should' and 'shouldn't', and often sees things in terms of what "could have been".

• Self 2 is the vast reservoir of potential within each one of us. It contains our natural talents and abilities, and is a virtually unlimited resource that we cab tap and develop. Left to its own devices, it performs with gracefulness and ease. (Green, p. 28)

Which is, naturally, what we all want as musicians. To be able to play with gracefulness and ease is quite a goal. We all know those moments when it has happened. We also know those many moments when it didn't. Sadly, we often let those less than graceful moments command what we do and how we feel.

When that happens, Self 1 is in full command.

But Green and Gallwey believe that it is possible to work toward a greater role for Self 2 in our lives, and especially in our music.

Inner Game techniques can reduce the effects of self-interference and guide us toward an ideal state of being. This state makes it easier for us to perform at our potential by rousing our interest, increasing our awareness and teaching us to discover and trust our built-in resources and abilities. It is a state in which we are alert, relaxed, responsive and focused. Gallwey refers to it as a state of 'relaxed concentration', and calls it the 'master skill' of the Inner Game. (Green, p. 35)

That's the introduction to the Inner Game. Simply and concisely it will be a way for us to empower Self 2. Since Self 2 has the same access to our experiences, training, desires, and dreams, it becomes the source of our own empowerment and growth in our skills. It will assist us in dealing with the interference we experience from Self 1.

Of course we have to identify Self 1 when it is taking over. We have to hear that voice and know that it is getting in the way of us doing what we can do.

So for the time being, just become more aware of how your Self 1 voice gets in the way of you doing what you are able to do. Become more able to identify it, even when it makes sense.

In the back of my head, for example, I have an image of an old trumpet player I knew once upon a time. When I knew him he was probably about the same age I am today, maybe even younger. He was not an accomplished musician. He enjoyed playing, I think, but he had trouble keeping up. His image has always been there in my head as to what happens to amateur trumpet players as they age.

Or, as Self 1 tells me, as I, myself, age.

Self 2 has learned that this is false. Very false. I mentioned Herb Alpert's age when I saw him in concert back in October. I have more than a decade to get to that. The same as with one of the participants in last year's Shell Lake Big Band Camp. So I have set Self 1 aside over this past year and went on as if Self 2 were the truth. I am glad I did.

This, as I say over and  over, applies to all of our lives. Self 1 is our inner critic for whom nothing will ever be right. Self 1 will always find the faults, the imperfections, the extreme lack of possibilities. Don't let Self 1 get in the way of your joy.


The Inner Game of Music Website

21. Be Crazy- Crazy Good!

Those who dance were thought to be insane 

by those who could not hear the music.

I know- I ended last week's post with that same quote. Well, consider it the theme, the phrase that ties last week to this week. It is a segue into what is like a coda to last week. For when I was finished typing it for last week, I could hear the unmistakable voice of camp director, Mr. Baca:

Are you crazy?

and the response, as always

Yeah- crazy good!

Not sure what to say about that I Googled the phrase "crazy good" and ended up at the online Urban Dictionary where I found:

a. Awesome, amazing, cool, stunning, super cool

Knowing the humility for which we trumpet players are so well known (?), that made sense. Hey- this is about being "crazy good." Awesome, amazing, etc. It is beyond just plain good. Man, it's crazy good!

But that's not what the quote is about. It's more than being especially good, talented or stunning. And sure enough, right after that first definition was another:

b. The feelings following an enlightenment; typically in creative work (elevation of work of art, idea, ability, level of happiness), where one is playing with and extending further. As the paradigm has shifted, others may express the genuine feeling you have actually gone crazy, however the opposite could be true and the path to awesomeness is being cemented.

Wow. Now that I have had happen. A moment of enlightenment, that old "Aha!" moment, leads down a path that you had never thought you would be following. The idea or ability or level of happiness is beyond what we have thought to be "normal." And that can feel like crazy!

Isn't that what musicians are looking to do- go beyond the "normal," find the new idea, the new experience, even in the song you have played hundreds or more times?  You finish playing that exercise in Clarke or the Etude in Concone and you find yourself sitting in silence. Something has just happened. You can't explain it, but you know it is real. People may look at those hours of practicing studies from the 19th Century and look at you and say,

What? Are you crazy?

and you smile and say,

Yeah- Crazy  good!

Or you are sick and tired of that piece your band plays every gig. There isn't even a place of solos or improvising. Sure, the group plays it well. You should after how many times you have played it. But then there's that moment when the audience stands and applauds and you realize you have just played it in a way that you never remember before. Sure, same notes, same rhythms. But the groove? The expression? The tightness of the group? You smile to yourself and say,

Yeah- Crazy good.

Or there's that memory of that place on the west facing lookout at the park. There's room for maybe 20 or 30 people- and the place is full. It is almost sunset on a perfect day. People are chatting and discussing everything from the weather to politics to how to keep the kids quiet long enough for you to see the sun set.

You didn't need to worry. As the sun sinks into t he western horizon and the colors begin to grow and deepen, the crowd speaks more softly. Even the children are entranced by this every day event as daylight lessens and shadows lengthen. You realize that the whole group is now silent. Adults and children in awe of one of the most common events on the planet. In awe as if there has never been one like it- and never will be again.

Try to explain that to someone who may not be able to get it, who doesn't hear the music of the sun or the birds in the forest behind you. Try to describe what it means to one of those overly logical-types who want answers.

What? Are you crazy or something?

Yeah- crazy good!

The past few weeks I have written about the language of music and the ability to speak it, live it, understand it, play it. It is a wordless language that makes no sense to someone who has never experienced it. It is tough enough for most of us on those days when the lip won't stay on the right note, the brain forgets how to play a "G major" scale, and you run out of breath half-way through every phrase.

But we keep coming back because we know the language and we know it works. Not every time, not every day, but when it happens, we are transformed.

So, I will end by again quoting Mr. Baca:

Let's get crazy!
Crazy good!

20. Sing, Play, and Dance

Everything in the universe has a rhythm,

everything dances.

― Maya Angelou

Last week I wrote about Joshua MacCluer and a post he wrote titled "10 Principles for Learning Music for Beginning and Amateur Musicians." Just to put this week into context, here are the first five:

1) Start with the “Why?”
2) The goal is to learn to speak music, not to learn how to play an instrument.
3) At the beginning, there are no mistakes or rules.
4) All hail the groove! Find and feel the groove before you play.
5) Don’t worry about the notes! Make it feel right!

Where does he take this list? Let's follow him...
(Note: that the italicized text is from MacCluer's post. The others are my thoughts.)

6) Listening is at least as important as playing.

• We must develop the ability to listen to others and play at the same time. We must also learn what to listen to at what time. ...For example, one technique is listen to a song several times, each time listening to a different instrument or element of the music. First listen to the bass line. Then the groove. Then the feeling. Then the drums, the woodwinds, the keyboard, the violins, then the dynamics. The choices are unlimited. The most important step at the beginning is developing the ability to move our ears away from our own playing to other players or elements of the music.

I will have more to say about this one in a later post. Music is meant to be heard, just like language. It is communication. What have others had to "say" in their music? Listen to it. What does Arban's 1st Characteristic Study sound like when it is played well? You will find it on You Tube. Sometimes if you are having trouble finding a groove- find a performance and listen for it. Then find it in your playing.

7) Don’t practice, jam!

• Jamming is the way to learn any language.... [T]he way to learn any language is to listen, imitate, and jam.... we don’t recite speeches, we have improvised conversations. Every conversation we have with other people is an improvisation! Jamming in music is playing improvised music with other people, trying things out and learning to play with others in a way that works.... Learn to listen, reach and find new things, feel the groove together and talk about the same thing musically, in an improvised and relaxed setting.

One of the interesting things I experienced last summer at the big band and trumpet camps was practicing with another musician. One of us would play the exercise, then the other would. It accomplished a couple of things, First it helped each of us hear the piece or exercise from the other side of the horn. We pick up nuances and phrases that way. Second, it keeps us from rushing through our practice. We pay better attention. It is only a small step from that to "jamming" together.

8) Play with other music as much as possible, even when practicing. Always keep a musical context when playing.

• If there is no one to jam with you today, it’s best to find some music to play along with. Even if you are playing your scales, having a groove to play with is very helpful. Playing with recordings or drum tracks or loops is much better than playing alone.  It is also super fun and very educational to play along with recordings by great musicians of your favorite songs. Make it feel right when you play along with pros on the recording, and it will feel right when you play with people in real life.

This goes back to the listening- and moves it further. Sure, you may do this when trying to transcribe a song, but what about just to play along with Miles Davis or the Canadian Brass? I have learned many wind band and quintet pieces that way over the years. I can feel their groove and find my place in it. And, as MacCluer says above- it really is "super fun."

9) Sing!

• The ideas we want to express [in our music] live inside of us, waiting to be expressed in the real world. However, the connection between our inner world and the outer world must be developed. The best way to do this is through singing. It removes our technical limitations and allows us to find our inner voice and ideas much more easily. Singing should be a daily practice for all musicians.... Once we know what we are hearing or trying to play, it is much easier to produce that in real life.

I don't do it as often as I should, but singing a piece should probably be a standard of playing new or difficult pieces. Someone said at camp last summer that if you have already sung the piece, you are no longer sight-reading. Amazingly- it works. Sometimes I will sing the exercise before playing it a second time. Again, that slows me down (resting as much as playing!) and helps me get the groove a little more firmly established in my head.

10) Learn to move with the music.

• Along with finding our voice another primary goal of music is to feel and live in the groove. The groove does not live in our heads but in our bodies. Therefore, dancing and playing drums is also very helpful. If we dance and feel the music in our bodies or maybe with a small percussion instrument, we will truly be in the flow of the musical experience and the music will flow easily and happily through us....Dancing gets the music in our whole body, and makes for much closer connection with the musical energy. So dance! It’s fun and feels great. If you’re embarrassed, do it in private, and dance your way through the music you want to play. The rhythm and groove you get from that will make the instrumental playing much easier.

Dance. Move. Let the music express itself in your body language. At a recent concert one of my friends commented on the musicians on stage. They had no energy. As you watched them you almost expected them to fall asleep mid-note. Now, there are professionals and top-notch musicians who may not move much in their performance. (Bob Dylan comes to mind, but then his musical and verbal language is so rich, he lives the movement!) So moving when practicing (or singing or listening) does make sense.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That groove thing keeps coming back, doesn't it? Well, after writing last week's post on these 10 principles, I was doing my daily practice. After I got warmed up, etc. I pulled out one of the Concone Lyrical Studies, #7 to be exact. I have had this problem that these "lyrical" studies have not felt all that lyrical. They are a collection of notes, one after the other, on the page. In language terms, they are words strung together in a foreign language that I haven't been able to understand. I have also found it more difficult to give slow, lyrical pieces the emotion they deserve.

Well, earlier last week I had found a You Tube recording of #7 and listened to it. It was okay, but it didn't move me. So I did what MacCluer has talked about. I sang it, then started to play it listening and feeling for the "groove." Surprise, surprise. There really is a groove in Concone #7! The next thing I knew I was playing in that groove.

I liked it enough to play it again. I found myself moving with the music as I played it. I can't say I was dancing, but the music sure was.

This is why, at age 67, I am still a student and still learning. There is always something new in the next piece, in the middle of the old Arban's or Concone, or waiting in an unexpected phrase on the next page, around the corner of tomorrow, or even as I take a moment to pay attention to the groove of my own life and the music I make. I call this blog series reflections on life and music. If it works in the practice room, it will work in all our relationships.

• Sing.
• Play.
• Dance.

And one of my favorite all time quotes:

Those who dance were thought to be insane 

by those who could not hear the music.

19. Why?

Music is a language that doesn’t speak in particular words.
It speaks in emotions, and if it’s in the bones,
it’s in the bones.

― Keith Richards, According to the Rolling Stones

In some of my surfing this past week I came across the website of Joshua MacCluer, trumpeter, educator, performance coach. One of the links was to a post he wrote titled "10 Principles for Learning Music for Beginning and Amateur Musicians." While most of us are probably well past the "beginner" level, I found the list a good refresher of what we are all about as musicians. It also reminded me that even if I am not a professional musician or music educator, many times it is in the ensemble work of learning from each other that we can make a lot of progress. This blog has been for me a way to concretize my own learning and practice as a musician.

Back to MacCluer, though. Here are his first five principles. Comments in italics are from his explanation:

1) Start with the “Why?”

• If we forget our real “Why?” while we are playing we might start thinking the answer is something like, “I want to not make mistakes” or “I want to get it right” or “I want to not embarrass myself” or “I want to win this audition” or one of many ego-based desires that make music making much more difficult. Instead, we should figure out our real personal “Why?” and remind ourselves regularly, especially while we are playing music. This is very important.

What is your real "Why?"

Several of mine- I can't stop making music. My life without it would be dull. The performance is one of the ways of sharing joy. My mind is expanded, skills developed, joy embodied. It's been happening for almost 55 years now.

2) The goal is to learn to speak music, not to learn how to play an instrument.

• Music is a language. Therefore, like any language, the foremost goal is communication. If we want to learn how to communicate with music, it is much more important to learn what music is and how it works and how to express ourselves with it... I believe a lot of music can be more easily learned away from the instrument, or using other instruments like our ears, imagination, voices, hands, feet and bodies.

I discovered this several years ago when I started playing in a Big Band. Almost all of my trumpet playing for decades was "concert" material- the great repertoire of wind bands. While I had listened to jazz and Big Band for just as many decades I had little experience playing it. I found it was a whole new world. I struggled. A lot! Fortunately I was 4th trumpet and could easily drop back (or out) when it got to the tougher parts without being missed. While I "knew" the language of jazz and big band, I couldn't "speak" it with my horn. I still had the wind band to play in and there, even with new numbers, I could drop back into a style and language I knew. It kept my chops up and helped me technically while I was learning to speak "jazz."

I am now able to do a lot more with that 4th trumpet part. Last summer at Shell Lake Big Band I learned I know the language and can even play some of the improvising. I am becoming more multi-lingual.

3) At the beginning, there are no mistakes or rules.

• Self judgement closes down the mind and kills learning... The principle here is don’t worry about mistakes. It’s not about “getting it right” it’s about expression. Just play and have fun, and learn quickly and easily like a child

I will be doing a lot more with this one over the next couple months with the Inner Game ideas. Suffice it to say, this is important!

4) All hail the groove! Find and feel the groove before you play.

• The groove is where the magic lives in the music.... The first step of playing music is to connect to the groove. How to do that? Quiet your mind and try to feel it. Focus on the feeling of the music and getting that feeling into your body. You will know you have found it when your body starts to want to move with the groove.

This can be an important part of learning the language talked about above. I know, almost instinctively, the "groove" of a Sousa march, a Holst Suite, an Alfred Reed or Samuel Hazo arrangement. I read over the piece, even if I have played it before, and my body wants to move with it.  That's the groove. With jazz I have felt the groove through decades of listening. Now I am learning how to express that movement through the horn.

5) Don’t worry about the notes! Make it feel right!

• Here’s a secret about music: people don’t listen to music, they feel it. If a song has all the right notes but doesn’t feel right, it doesn’t work.... Right notes with bad rhythm are wrong notes... Victor Wooten’s Rule #1, “Never lose the groove to find a note.” ... If you play a wrong note with perfect rhythm, in most cases most people will not even notice. It will slide right past their ears because the feeling is right.

Naturally this doesn't mean play whatever you want. That is the language of gibberish, the mumbling and noise of pre-language. But it does mean that it is more than just the right notes, the technically correct but lifeless string of notes. Remember in a language that the same words are available to the high school student essayist and the Pulitzer Prize-winning author. It's more than using the words, it is how and why (!) you use them. It is the passion and emotion embodied in them. Feel the music- let the feeling flow.

 I am excited by these principles. They lay more of that foundation that is essential to the continuing growth of my music. I will explore more of these in the next five of MacCluer's principles next week.

What are your reasons "Why?" Let me know.